Thursday, 3 April 2014
So I forgot to do this post yesterday and it's likely that I'm not going to get anything written today because ya know, procrastinator extraordinaire...
I had a bit of a wobble after I cranked out my 1050 words yesterday since it felt like squeezing blood from a stone the whole time I was writing the scene. I could sense how forced the writing felt and I'm sure that when I go back to that scene I'll want to rewrite everything I did before I finish it.
I think I diagnosed part of the problem in a chat with my fabulous Alpha Reader Jess - I don't write well with fixed timescales and goals to meet. It's not a great thing for if I ever wanted to get published or whatever because of course deadlines are some serious shit and you can probably land yourself in a whole world of trouble if you don't deliver what you're contracted to do when you're supposed to. But I just can't write my best that way.
For me though I can ignore deadlines if I want (except with my OU work that's gonna mess things up if I start skipping doing TMAs). Writing is not my job, it's a hobby and when a hobby starts to feel restrictive and time-constrained with requirements then it's not a hobby anymore - it's a damn chore and I predominantly procrastinate chores.
I think that's part of why I stopped writing book reviews because every time I read a book there was the nagging feeling that I should be reviewing it on the blog. Even though I wasn't even receiving ARCs from publishers I felt obligated to share my thoughts in detail about the YA books I was reading. It forced me to think critically and analytically about the stories and characters I had just got to know and I bloody hated that. I like to just immerse myself in books and only think about things like that if something is glaringly bad and throwing me out of the story. Reviewing threatened my enjoyment of reading so I stopped.
Unrealistic word count targets and arbitrary deadlines threaten my enjoyment of writing so if necessary I'll ignore them. I'm not going to stop writing during April if Camp becomes too stressful but I'll just go back to working on the scenes from my story as I was before this month and writing at my own damn pace.
With this mentality in mind I settled to my laptop last night and working from the hand-written start point done on a train on Sunday (whole separate story here) I did a whole scene of nearly 1600 words. In possibly less time that I did the first day's writing. When I looked up from typing to see I had over 1000 words I was surprised that I had gotten that far - that's when I know that the story is flowing right - I didn't have to stare and glare at the corner of my screen willing the wordcount to go up; it just happened.
Today I won't write anything and that's fine. To satisfy my inner pedant I have got enough words banked to allow me this day's respite without falling behind (on my wholly arbitrary word goal) so tomorrow I can start on a new scene and hopefully the words will fly again.
I feel happier for having come to this conclusion and I think there'll be a better outcome because of it.
Which means for story for Jess to read :P
P.S. Current total word count for 2014 Writing Project- 46,042 hells yea